More stupidez

Last night was his "date" night, he came home early because it was his show night. How wonderful she must feel to know that he left early because of a tv show.

When he came home, he kissed me hello and asked me "do I smell ok, dear?" How sad, that he couldn only think of that, instead of knowing that I don't want to be touched like that when he comes home from her.

Tonight he asked if I wanted to go to the Rennaisance Festival, Santa-cali-gon or someplace else I can't remember. Because, if I didn't want to go, he would take hoochie. I told him it doesn't make me feel any better knowing that when he asks me if I want to go somewhere if I don't say yes, he's going to ask her, because he "has to have someone to do things with", since I'm so handicapped. (His words). I told him that if I was so handicapped, why was he even asking me to go somewhere? I think I want to go everywhere. It will do two things: 1. show him I'm not handicapped, and 2. keep her from going. But at what cost? I'll be worn out.

yuk

Last night when he came home from hoochie's he kissed me hello. He smelled of her, hadn't even washed his face. Gross. I was talking to C. so I didn't say anything. Then he went to bed. I've been thinking all day about what to say to him. He never sees anything as a problem. But, I'm going to write him an e-mail. He needs to know.

more of the same

He took me to dinner last night at the Oyster bar at the boat and tonight to the Falcon. Trying to make nice, because tomorrow is his date with hoochie. Doesn't work. Food doesn't make me accept her in ANY way.

I hate my life.

bleh

Last Saturday he went to hoochie's. I did find out that they are, at least, using condoms. SHE insisted. I'm sure that didn't make him happy, but thinking about how badly he wanted sex, I guess he puts up with it.

Last night (Tuesday) he went over there, and came home an hour early...his show was on! Nice to know where his priorities lie. He's asked her to go to Camp Gaea to the poly meeting next month. She said she'll think about it, but she hates camping. I hope S and her man have a go at him.

Tonight he got news of a job interview tomorrow. If he gets the job he might not be able to go to Gaea. Sad, no? But, it's midnight to eight AM. Totally messes up my day. Gotta do something.

Time marches on.

SOS

Tomorrow he has a job interview in Columbia, after which he's going to the hoochie's for a little nooge. I have to whole day to myself, beginning with lunch somewhere where I can be a lone and read. Then, out to 39th to the bookstore. Yay me.

date night

He left after me today, around 12, got home at 8:30. Said he'd be home about nine. Wonder what happened.

He wants to take me to Jamesport to the Amish community. When I asked why, he said we hadn't had a vacation, yet. Vacation? One day? YSR.

Yak

Yesterday I found out he was going to the hoochie's about a half hour before he left. Nice notice.

Today, an e-mail telling me he's taking her to the movies while I'm at SnB, and will be home about nine. A movie? From 11 to nine? Yeah, and I'm Talulah Bankhead.

I'm so tired.

OMG!

Tonight I got a note that there was mail at Fish, (I had to register to check out his hoochie) guess who's picture came up as a new choice for me? Himself. And, what he had written in his bio was CRAP! That his ill wife had given him permission to go out with other women because she couldn't do much. Jeez, it's all over the freakin' internet. And, with his freakin' picture all big and proud. Fucking lier.

too nice?

He's written our friend and told her right now he's not working he doesn't want to do the counseling. As usual, he doesn't want to and it was his idea for ME. I'm glad that S. knows him and will see what a derf he is. Jerk.

boredom

Tomorrow is the trip to Sedalia, he's taking me. He offered. I was suprised, because he's usually out with the hoochie on Tuesday. He's trying to be nice since Saturday's big night out.

Yesterday, after brunch, I said I wanted to go to Pier I. He was "happy" to take me. And, he actually spent about $15 on me there. Another way he tries to make nice after he's out with the current "her".

Life stumbles on.